Surface Tension
by Abydosorphan
Summary: Sam and Jack have to adjust to being themselves and losing the freedom that they felt as Jonah and Thera.
"So, Colonel…."

"Major…."

"That bald man you were trying to remember…"

"General Hammond."

"Right."

"He's from Texas, ya know. It's all coming back."

"Yes, Sir."

"Sir…." his face had fallen slightly, but he'd kept his composure. "Let's go home."

The sparkle of light shimmered in her eyes before burrowing away, hidden from him once again. Then she'd smiled slightly before walking by him and heading through the door and on to the Stargate.

* * *

Major Samantha Carter turned off the tap and tested the water with her fingers. After being underground in the mines and then in Section 23 the "comforts of home" were going to be more than appreciated.

The showers that she'd taken both before and after her post mission physical had done nothing to soothe her. The water there had only removed the surface dirt and grime, not the caked on dirt that had accumulated during her time on P3R-118. Removing her robe and allowing it to drop to a pile on the floor, she slowly lowered herself into the steaming water.

Sinking to a comfortable position, her head resting against her bath pillow she closed her eyes for a few moments to just relish the flood of sensations the water caused as it seeped into her body. Once again, she was glad that she'd indulged in its purchase almost four years ago – when it became clear that this job was one where the occasional pampering session was definitely needed.

 _His hands ran across her skin, sensations flowing through her with his every caress._

Too much.

Too little.

Not enough.

Never enough.

She clung to him as if there was nothing holding her in place, nothing keeping her in that world but him. It was his strength, his arms holding her together.

His back and chest as he hovered over her, leaving her no other option but to cling to him, or lose her grip on everything.

Her eyes flew open, her hands shooting out to the sides of the tub to steady her, her breathing increasing rapidly as the visions of the memory faded.

Sitting forward, picking up the bath loofah, she squeezed a healthy dose of strawberry-kiwi soap on it, before beginning to wash herself. Starting with her left arm she followed its natural line down to her wrist and then back up to her shoulder. The rough texture felt good against her skin.

She wanted to be clean.

Free of grime.

Free of dirt.

Free of sweat.

Free of anything that would bring back the memories of what had happened – of him.

 _"You alright?"_

"Fine."

"That explosion…"

"Ah… nonono…I'm fine really"

"Good."

"Brenna wants to see me. She wants to hear my ideas for improving the plant."

"You know, you could take a few minutes off…"

"Oh, please… you work just as hard as I do."

"That's different. It's called stamina."

She had smiled at that, laughing lightly and shyly dipping her eyes. They were working, now was not the time for innuendo.

"Have a nice shift." Was her only verbal reply, the twinkle in her eye – though he probably couldn't see it – her silent promise of 'later'.

Her hand froze. The double meaning of his expression hadn't been lost then, or now. She blinked in an almost startled realization as her hand began continued with its intimate caress, striving for its ultimate goal.

Her bath idea had originally been based on the theory that it would help her to relax. Not so that the memories of events better left hidden would rush up and overwhelm her.

The tingle started low in her stomach, quickly overpowering her senses. Her back arched against the tub and she didn't even bother trying to suppress the strangled sigh that escaped from her throat.

Sinking back into the comforting embrace of the water, she groaned in frustration. Instead of relaxing her, her release had only tightened her muscles more – her every atom, every molecule calling out to him, craving his touch.

Submerging herself completely under the water she rubbed at her eyes and ran her fingers thoroughly through her hair before coming up for air.

There had to be something that she could do to stop this.

Standing up and grabbing the towel from the rack, she quickly exited the tub and dried off.

* * *

Colonel Jack O'Neill. The name ran through his head and he tried to wrap his mind around it once again. He knew it belonged to him, knew that this was who he really was. He remembered his past and his present with the harsh flood of emotions that went along with his reality.

He'd liked Jonah though.

Liked how 'free' Jonah had been. Sure, he'd practically been a slave, but in his slavery he'd been able to express a freedom that Jack had never known.

Jack turned the nozzle on the tap and stepped under the steady stream of pulsating heat. He'd showered at the SGC, but it was impossible to wash away everything that he needed to in only one attempt.

He could still feel the coating of dirt, sweat, and grime that had clung to him during their ordeal. Those were the least of his concerns though. He was fairly certain that it had been thoroughly washed away at the base, but he could still smell her.

He knew it wasn't actually there, that her scent hadn't lingered behind on his skin as if her touch were a permanent brand. Closing his eyes he rolled his shoulders into the massaging pulses of the water, imagining Thera's gentle fingers working their way into his sore muscles.

 _"Do you ever relax?"_

He looked down on her as her gentle, post-coital smile beamed up at him. "Trust me, I'm quite relaxed."

Her fingers moved along his shoulder, kneading their way into the muscles as his head lowered to rest in the crook of her neck. Her scent had invaded his senses, sparking his neurons to flood him with vaguely familiar images of this woman.

He'd kissed her neck, loving the way that he could feel her smile, even when he couldn't see it.

With all the hardships of living in the mines and then here, this made it all worth while.

She was his escape.

She was all he thought about.

She was familiar.

Nipping gently at her collarbone, he whispered in her ear, "So, what do you think this important thing that we're supposed to be doing is?"

He turned around in the stream, letting the pulsing water pound into his face. Hoping that it could pound out the memories.

The feel of her beneath him.

The feel of her skin against his.

The feel of her around him, pulling him in, pulling him down.

Jack leaned forward, his left hand bracing him against the wall as his right hand ventured lower. His fingers tensed as he set about his task, the images of her impeccably clear in his mind, the feelings that he'd suppressed for so long, now dangerously close to the surface, that he could almost hold fast to the reality that was slipping away.

He could feel the touch of her skin; her sigh as his lips connected with and tasted her. He remembered the way that she had looked at him when he mentioned his dreams to Daniel. How he dreamed about 'other things' or about mining naked, that one had really seemed to pique her curiosity.

Quickly, he released himself, punching his hand into the tile with more force then he should have. He moved to a standing position, his back against the side wall, the stream of water pulsating across his stomach.

How could he do this?

What they had shared in Section 23 had been real; it had been special. And it had been allowed. There were no regulations down there to keep them apart.

Even with the personalities of other people stamped onto their brain, they had sought each other out.

They had been drawn to each other, connected somehow.

Running a calloused hand over his face, he turned the water to cold and quickly finished his shower.

Any other 'activities' he could deal with later.

* * *

Samantha Carter stood, pacing outside on the porch. She had no idea what it was that had ultimately brought her here.

She shouldn't be here at all.

The regulations stated several reasons why she shouldn't be here.

Yet, she found herself drawn to him.

Just like Thera had been drawn to Jonah. Of all the men that had been down there with them, of all the times for her to start up a relationship with anyone, it had to be him and it had to be then.

 _"I care about her, a lot more than I'm supposed to."_

"I remember feeling… feelings. I don't remember much, but I remember that."

His words flashed through her mind and she felt the knots in her stomach grow tighter.

She had felt his touch, tasted his kiss, how was she supposed to keep all of this locked in a proverbial room?

Despite her better judgment, she found her hand reaching up to the door knocker.

Several moments, and several thwarted attempts to run away, the door opened to reveal a rather hesitant looking Colonel. He seemed to look around for a moment, as if he expected her to turn and run – or possibly vanish – before he stepped aside to allow her entrance.

With more conviction than she felt, she brushed past him and into his living room.

"You wanna beer?"

"Please."

Her shaking hands clasped together before her as she walked over to look at the pictures on the mantle.

 _"It's not like I'm making this up off the top of my head! I've got a detailed plan including safeguards."_

"I'm sure she knows that."

"I could make a difference here…She won't even let me."

"Why don't you go back to her in a couple of days? Offer up something small. Maybe you have to work into the big stuff."

"How do you stay so calm?"

"I think in another life I handled dangerous explosives. I dunno."

"What…what do you mean in 'another life'?"

"Carter?" His fingers brushed her shoulder and she jumped out of her reverie, the picture of SG1 in her hand almost tumbling to the ground before she was able to steady it, quickly returning it to its position on the mantle.

"Guess it's not just me, then, huh?"

She couldn't help the shy smile that rose to her face when her eyes met his.

"You haven't shaved."

"Huh?" Jack's hand automatically lifted to his face and he felt the coating of stubble that covered his cheeks and chin. "No. Not yet."

Her hand ventured to his cheek, her fingers grazing the hair before curling around to his neck, her thumb continuing to caress the growth. She fought with the emotions that were rising within her, the love she felt for this man battling with her sense of honor and duty.

Forcing her voice to be calm, to not crack, as she took a step toward him, and possibly away from everything else she held dear, "I like it."

* * *

 _Her head had rested on his shoulder. "You know, there are things about this place that I like…."_

"Really?"

She'd glanced up at him through her lashes.

"Oh…." He had paused, "Would it mean anything if I told you I remember something else?"

"What?"

"Feelings."

"Feelings?"

"I remember feeling, feelings."

"For me?"

"No. For Tor. I don't remember much, but I do remember that."

She'd chuckled, her face hidden in his shoulder. "So…."

"So…I'm just saying."

"Well, then I feel better."

Even before he felt the memory fade, he cupped his hand against her and pulled her in, his lips seeking hers' with a familiar hunger.

Sam whimpered when they connected, her fingers tightening around his neck as her other hand grabbed his shoulder for support. Her lips were soft, pliant and accepting of him as he explored them, parting them a bit to lightly suck on first one and then his other lip.

Their kisses were simple, familiar, meaningful, and tender. Jack's mind and pulse were racing, he couldn't believe that this was happening, that he'd made the move, that she'd accepted it so willingly, and how wonderful and right this whole thing seemed.

He pulled back, looking in her eye, trying to asses how she was feeling about all of this. Her hands hadn't moved, nor had she stepped out of his embrace; he hoped that all of these were good signs.

She smiled up at him, her fingers toying with the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

"Was that Jack kissing Sam, or Jonah trying to find Thera?" her whispered words hit deep, her breath caressing over his lips as she spoke.

He thought over his answer before he replied. He wanted to make sure that she understood what he wanted, without thinking that he was making the decision for them. If she couldn't handle it or wasn't ready he would fully accept that. Eventually.

Pressing his forehead to hers he quietly whispered, "That was Jack kissing Sam, now that Jonah and Thera have both given him a good ass-kicking."

Her chuckle as their lips connected once again, was like music to his ears. Her fingers lightly caressed his neck, his every nerve vividly attuned to her presence.

"You know, there were a few things about being there that I liked…"

Sam's cheeks flushed pink, her smile shy, yet radiant. "Since we got home, all I've wanted to do was go back for a while…."

Smiling hesitantly, he pulled her closer to him, "You don't have to go back, Sam. I'm right here. It doesn't have to stay in the room."

Her eyes were glistening mischievously, but he could see the glint of her unshed tears. "I think that 'it' left the room the second that we did, Jack." Casting a downward glance he barely heard her whisper, "we're not fooling anyone."

Tilting her face to his, he kissed her again, "Sam, we've saved this country, this world, hell, even this universe, time and time again and never asked for anything in return. I think we could call in a few markers."

"What if we can't? We'll have already admitted that we're involved in an improper relationship, we could be brought up on charges and then court-martialed, never mind the rumor mill and all that would happen there. Our reputations would be dirt, our careers would be over, we'd lose everything and we'd probably wind up resenting each other." Her voice trailed off, losing any remaining energy that she had to argue.

"It was all so easy when it was just hidden feelings, wasn't it? Before we'd given in, before we'd been given the chance to experience what we could be like together, before we'd lost ourselves, lost our identities and still sought each other out, before I'd held you in my arms while you slept." His voice started out with his usual hint of honest sarcasm, dealing with emotions – especially raw ones – had never been his forte. As he trailed off, his voice almost cracked. He was baiting her, prodding her, to deal with the events head on.

Sam moved out of his embrace and turned back toward the mantle, he was almost sure that she was crying, but she wouldn't let him see.

"I have held you in my arms, Sam. I know what it's like to have you hold me in yours. Even if I was calling you Thera, the feelings, the emotions, that was all you." He crossed the two steps to her in a matter of seconds, pulling her into his embrace and turning her to face him. "If it comes down to a choice between experiencing that again or going through the gate, there's no competition. You'll win every time."

Her hand caressed his cheek, lingering in the short hairs there before moving to his neck and pulling him down to her. With their lips mere centimeters from each other she whispered, "Don't let me screw this up, Jack."

He huffed into her shoulder as he pulled her into a hug. "If I can help it, nothing will screw this up."


End file.
